I decided to write about this topic, to help other people get over a break up, it is a really hard experience to deal with and to get over… yes, you read me right; you can get over that boy/ girl who broke your heart, Trust me, its possible.
*disclaimer: I am not saying this is how it goes for everyone. Every person is different, so every experience can be different. I am just giving you some help to show you that if you are experiencing similar emotions, it’s totally normal! I am also sharing some personal information about my personal life, so please respect what I have shared. THANK YOU! <3*
I’ll explain what I did to get over my breakup, while giving you tips to help you. We are in this together!
There are stages in every break up, some are interchangeable, and some are non-avoidable (sadly).
The first stage: Shock:
I honestly could not believe it happened, it seemed almost fake; but it was not. I was sad obviously, it is totally justified! You have every right to be hurt, the person you trusted to not leave, had left. You are broken. I experienced a sudden comfort a couple of hours after the break up, but then would completely fall apart. Personally, I think the day after is the hardest.
That is when we move on to the second stage: Complete and Total sadness.
Okay so the title is a little dramatic, but honestly, it sucks. You look at your phone and don’t see that good morning text or that snap. You don’t know what they are thinking or feeling and for me that was really hard. I felt that if he was okay, I would be okay. I would wake up in the morning at like 5 AM, just crying, yeah…. it was bad, but HEY that does not mean it’s not going to get better, I promise you, you will get through it.
During this stage, I made it a priority it stay busy and to hang with friends. My feeling towards the guy was pretty much. confused and well I just did not want him to hurt, like I did. I was really defensive towards my friends when they would call him names, or saying he wasnt worth it, because I felt like he could feel the pain coming off every syllable that was said. The sad thing was, I wanted him back, and was willing to give up my happiness to get him. I just wanted him. (Note: I realized that this was a worthless cause, and I chose my happiness, obviously. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!)
Anger: This stage happened for me on Halloween.
Yup. The emotion basically takes control of you and good luck not giving in. Yet, the decision I made on that day, I am forever grateful to thyself, for making the move I did. A good outlet is to write letters to the person and then shred them, or physically rip them apart….. or set them on fire….. 🙂 I would not recommend throwing away pictures, their stuff, or any other memory you have, because someday you are going to want to remember that event or day, or maybe you just really liked the shirt you had of their’s and you didn’t want to get rid of it. I just really wanted him to hurt, like I had been hurting, and to have control. During this stage I started to feel relief and was able to start moving on.
For me personally I went through one more round of self-pity and sadness
I was also still a little angry: I just really wanted to talk to him, but I knew I couldn’t. I would not let myself. It is important to remember that you have a value and that you shouldnt waste your time on someone who doesn’t realize that. I was so busy the weeks after, and got so much exciting news, that I did not have time to think or to be sad really. I started reading the book It’s called a Breakup Because its Broken, this book showed me that I needed to focus on myself. So that is what I did!
Acceptance and Moving On:
Now I am so incredibly happy. I have realized that it was a good decision that he made, and I now see that I was not happy at all in the relationship. He did not treat me how I should have been treated. He was a nice person and a good friend, but that was all we should have been in the beginning. I got lost in the relationship, only focusing on that. I made him a priority, but I was not one to him.
What helped me was, I started working out a lot more, I now work out almost everyday. I started baking and cooking vegan/vegetarian again, that was something I loved to do, but stopped when I met him, because I could never cook for him. Honestly, at this stage, you will be relieved to know, that you barely think about him, and that is good! It should be that way.
Some things to try while getting over a breakup:
Start working out/eating healthy:
- if you run into them at Target or something, You want to be the one looking like a fricken goddess and the one that is hot. So put down the ice cream and get on a treadmill.
Write in a journal:
- express your emotions that you are feeling, because everyone needs an outlet, especially in a time like this.
- Shopping therapy is a thing.. right?
- During breakup’s your friends are your necessity, they will help you stay sane trust me! So put on that mini skirt from your last shopping trip and make sure to document it on Insta 😉
- I can not stress this enough, MOVE ON, there are so many hot guys out there, now im not saying go hook up with a guy, because honestly that could be hard to do since you were just in a relationship… take things slow or at your desired pace, but a girl’s gotta do, what a girl’s gotta do. Start snapping some old friends, or meet new ones!! It is a great time to be a live, just remember the best flirting move… the pop-and-lock, it never fails…..im literally kidding, plz don’t do that.
Start up old/new hobbies:
- Remember how you loved to build things with popsicle sticks? yeah… I don’t remember either….Get back into the things you love to do before you dated the person, or start something completely new that you have been wanting to try! For me I got back into my sewing, cooking and nutrition. I started boxing (which is a great anger release, if you get my drift).
These tips really helped me; I hope these tips and showing you the stages I had to experience through my own breakup helped you in some way!
I want you to know that YOU ARE SO FULL OF WORTH AND LOVE!
The person who broke your heart, does not have the right to hold you back from greater things, they let you go, and that was their mistake, not yours.
I am honestly the happiest I have ever been, and I know for a fact, trust me it is proven (by me.. of course) that you will be happy too, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, just keep moving forward.
Love you Lots, and stay strong <3