Not Your Average Love Letter. Letter 1: Never Get Burned By the Same Flame?

Hey guys!

(*Disclaimer*- I'm sharing personal events that have happened to me, please respect my choices and what I have to say. Not everyone will fall into this category of going back to their EX, but I'm writing this to help someone that was as confused as I was when I was deciding what to do when I was in this situation. )

I decided to start this series "Not Your Average Love Letters", because I feel like Love is such a hard and confusing emotion, but it can also be the most amazing. People think it's supposed to be this perfect, easy feeling to navigate. I'm here to tell you that it's not. You will fight, get confused, you will get hurt feelings sometimes, but that only makes up about 10% of the relationship. Honestly, my boyfriend is my best friend, we tell each other everything, and we get into arguments but we never full-on fight. We always make up, because we love each other.

Now this wasn't how it always was. . .

We started dating right after we met each other, that was hard. I don't recommend it. It was hard to date someone while you are still trying to figure out who they are, and be his friend on top of being his girlfriend. Everything I said in my post about our break up was true; terribly, sadly, honestly true. He was a different person; he was broken himself, after getting out of a bad relationship just 3 months prior of us dating. We were destined to break up, because he wasn't ready to be in another relationship again, no matter how many times he told himself that he was. However, the day we broke up, I lost a really good friend because that is how we got to know each other; more as friends than as boyfriend/girlfriend.

(When we broke up it hurt, a lot. I gained my independence back though, and that is something I don't think I'd have if our old relationship was still going on, that and Happiness. He showed no effort when we were dating last time. But that is what changed! )

Okay so let's jump to December (this is where things get interesting)

We met for coffee in December, after my mom told me I had to clear the bad aura between us, which was brought back into my life when we ran into each other at the work Christmas party. . . Anyway, I was so scared to see him, but I was happy as well, because I looked bomb AF! It was good to catch up and to realize I didn't have any feelings for him anymore. To even prove my point, I had a date that night with a guy I was somewhat interested in (that ended as fast as that started lol) After that coffee date we started texting some, really little though. Then he started snapping, and then one thing led to another and we hung out for the first time since our break up and we just talked. We realized how much we missed each other as friends, and so that is what we became. After a couple months of being friends, the feelings started piling on. I did not know this then but he had feelings for me starting on our third hang out. For me, I was more guarded. I started getting feelings around the end of February.

People had a lot of opinions on us being friends, and on our growing relationship. You can't let people tell you how you feel, and trust me, everyone has their own input, I want to say this, however, it is not bad to let them back in, if they changed! The KEY word being CHANGED.  My friend's mom always said "Never get burned twice by the same flame." I think that it's probably a good idea not to, but I think that in every situation there is a different answer and not everything is just so outlined.

I am so incredibly happy where we are now.

What I'm saying is, is that its totally okay to go back to someone, but realize that you made get hurt again, in no relationship is there a 100% guarantee that its going to work out, but there is a chance that it is. Don't go back because you miss them or because you are scared you won't find anyone else, because if they haven't changed and they are still the jerk that they were before, you are just setting yourself up for another call to the broken heart hotline, and I don't want that for you!

I knew he changed because he started planning dates to hang out, and he would text me and see how I was doing, he would say cute things that he never said before. He made me feel like a priority, not a chore.

I hope this helps you guys and let me know if you like this new series!! Also comment if you have any topics you want advice for; maybe I can help!!

XOXO,

G.

 

 

 

 

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